Farewell

The surreal reality we all currently inhabit has made many of us reflect on our past, our present and what we envision for our futures. I am no exception. As some of you are aware, I had a bad accident in February when I fell off a 10-foot ladder and slammed my head hard, face-down on a concrete floor. I'm not sure what force in the universe was watching over me that night, but I fortunately survived paralysis. Or death. I spent the night in the ER and was released the next morning with some bumps, bruises and a couple of fractures. The following day, I was back in rehearsal since I was directing Afsaaney - Our Stories. I didn't have the luxury of time to heal. My cast was depending on me and the opening was imminent. The pace of rehearsals over the next couple of weeks was grueling, before we abruptly had to make the decision to cancel with Covid lapping at our country's shores. The show had shut down. Theatre, as we knew it, had shut down. And with it, my entire world had shut down. Which in itself was devastating enough. But alongside it, my physical problems from the fall had predictably exacerbated. For those of you that know me well, this has been the pattern for too many years now. My health has consistently taken a beating in the face of the non-stop stress and the constant, frantic, unrelenting demands of running a non-profit theatre company.

If there's one thing I've learned during this pandemic, it's that it changes everything. All that we took for granted and thought we knew falls away ephemerally in an existence that is no longer recognizable. As clichéd as that probably sounds at this point to all of us suffering through this nightmare, it couldn't hold truer in my case. In the time I have spent recalibrating, it has become clear to me that I must take a hiatus from my work in theatre and focus on my health, my children and my family.

I have therefore decided to step down from my position as Co-Artistic Director. Basab will take over as sole Artistic Director and continue the important work we have done over the past six years. And as you all know, that means BAD Company will undoubtedly be in the best possible hands.

This company has brought me so much joy, love, happiness and creative fulfillment. I am at a loss for words to express what it has meant to me. These were the most memorable times of my life and I am humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude for having experienced them.

I cannot thank my husband, Rakesh, enough for being there for me through life's best and worst for nearly three decades now. He and my two babies, Jai and Naina, have all too patiently tolerated my long absences away at rehearsals for years. I cannot make up for the times I have been away from them, but I have every intention of trying my darndest to do so. I hope I have made them proud with the body of work I leave behind.

My sister Sangeeta was a mother to every cast of every play BAD Company has staged. She was always there behind the scenes, cooking for everyone, manning the ticketing, handling the refreshment stand, working in the sound booth, along with a million other tasks. Whatever I needed. Unconditionally. She was the single most important reason I was able to do the work I did. My debt to her is too large to ever repay. I can only say a humble thank you to her here.

To all the casts and crews of the many plays we have staged, I cannot articulate in words how deeply indebted I am to you all. You helped us turn our lofty dreams into a strikingly beautiful reality and I will dearly treasure the times we spent together.

To the patrons who came out to cheer us on and support us, year after year, play after play, my heart will forever be yours. Thank you for indulging, pampering and spoiling me with all the love, the affection, the encouragement, the tears, the laughter, the hugs, the compliments, and even the brickbats you showered on me in the lobby. Those radiant moments with you carried me through the roughest of times.

And finally to my Co-Artistic Director, Basab Pradhan, I tip my hat to you for your grace and composure through all the storms we weathered together to build this little company we can both be so proud of. Thank you for your friendship, your guidance, your mentorship, and most importantly for being the staunch feminist you are in word and action. I have no doubt you will take the company to greater heights than we could've possibly dreamed of.

In terms of my future, it remains a mystery. A fact I'm strangely comfortable with. Covid has brought with it new avenues and beautiful, unexpected explorations that know no geographical boundaries. I now find myself fulfilling my lifelong dream of learning Hindustani classical vocal music under the tutelage of my teacher in Bangalore – the erstwhile Guru Sri Sharan Gurjar of the Kirana Gharana, a disciple of the legendary Bhimsen Joshi. I'm also learning the Urdu rasm-ul-khat from Janab Javed Azim in Karachi and the sublime intricacies of Urdu Shayari from Janab Tashie Zaheer, a father figure to me, who originally founded Urdu Academy in California and now resides in Arizona. Silver linings abound in my life, as I hope they do in yours and I am cherishing every one of them.

I hope you all stay safe, healthy and cheerful through these coming months. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. If only we all choose to squint and look hard together.

With all my love always,

-Sindu

You can read Co-Artistic Director, Basab Pradhan’s good bye to Sindu here.

Basab PradhanSeptember 9, 2020